Confessions of a New Mom

Having only had a baby for 2 months, I haven't had the opportunity to screw things up too badly (yet). But, as Matthew says, we've had "consistently declining standards" as the days go by. I thought he was exaggerating, until last night.

I think I was the most ticked off kid in the neighborhood that the fireworks had been postponed because of a freakish rain storm. I'd been sitting around the house all day, waiting to "do something" and that was the something that I wanted to do, go watch the fireworks. We live in a prime location as we can walk to where they shoot off the fireworks in less than 10 minutes. Not having to fight traffic and being close to a bathroom are two top reasons to go see the fireworks when they are shot off in your neighborhood.

We didn't let the rain deter our plans for steaks and a pint of Ben & Jerrys, but that was where the fun ended. Whether it was the thunder and lightening or the idiots who wouldn't let said thunder and lightening deter them from shooting off their roadside stand bought fireworks that kept Marin up till 1 a.m. we'll never know. But, when he finally crashed, so did we. It was my night to watch him (dang it). After only 5 hours sleep, he was up screaming. Nice. I drag myself out of bed to feed and diaper him and it is over an hour before I get him back down.

As I ease him back into his nest, I hear the dog flop her ears. Lexi doesn't bark to get your attention, as barking is strictly prohibited in this house and greyhounds don't bark much anyway; she flops. You know, when a dog is wet and shakes from head to toe to get the water off and the flopping sound that their ears make? Well, Lexi does this to get your attention even when she is dry. This usually means one of two things: I'm hungry or I need to pee. Unfortunately, today it was both. I fixed her food, fed her and sent her out. Instead of getting down to business and using the bathroom, she decides that early morning is the best time to get in a workout and starts running like a crazed fool in the backyard. If I would have been dressed, I would have went outside to pulverize her. But since I was wearing nothing more than a t-shirt and underwear, I was reduced to a hissing yell at her through the barely cracked backdoor. She knew I couldn't come out there and get her, so she just stands there looking at me. "Get your ass in here or I'm coming out there," I threaten. It was only 6 a.m. and I didn't want to wake the neighbors with the sounds of me beating my dog, but she didn't know I wasn't willing to take the risk, so she finally relents and plops down exhausted on her dog bed. And she immediately falls back asleep. Bitch.

I sneak back into our room, hoping against hope that Marin is still asleep. Matthew, who had said he was getting up early to go fly his planes, is out cold, hanging halfway off the bed with his arm extended in the general direction of his alarm clock which went off at 6 a.m. when I was at the backdoor having it out with the dog. It is now 6:30. I figure he has decided to sleep in instead.

I decide to take one more peek at Marin before I get back into bed myself and see that his right shoulder is covered in spit up. So is one corner of his mattress. He on the other hand, is fast asleep. I stand there looking over my vomit encrusted angel with a dilemma running through my head. Should I wake him and risk him not going back to sleep? Or should I enter into the world of bad mothers who let their children sleep in puke?

My pondering must have disturbed Matthew because at 7 a.m. he bolts upright in bed and asked an obvious question, "Did I sleep through my alarm?" Nope, you got up and turned it off. You didn't sleep through it. I was glad that he was awake because now I had someone to ask for advice about the spit up situation. Matthew hesitates for just a second before saying, "Nah, let him sleep." Happy in the fact that our standards were content to decline together, I sank peacefully back into bed.
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Diaper Bag Must Haves

What's in Marin's diaper bag? Well, quite a bit to be honest. We've refined our bag packing technique over the past two months and seem to have it down pat. We have everything we need in his bag and then some, but nothing "useless" that just takes up space. Here are the must haves for a diaper bag for a newborn to 2 month old.

1) Diapers-For just going around town or if we'll be out for half a day or so, we take 8. That seems to be plenty. Always take more diapers than you think you'll need.

2) Wipes-The small travel wipes cases will not cut it if your baby has a massive blow out while out and about. There is only enough in there for 1 regular poop diaper or a few pee diapers. While it does make the bag heavier, we carry a regular sized box of wipes. There is no need to carry the hard sided box of wipes because most of the wipe companies are now making soft sided ones in the large sizes so you have plenty of wipes but not the extra weight of the box. If you get wipes in bulk, which we have started doing too, you can always put wipes in a big zipper bag.

3) Cloth diapers-You can use these as a burp cloth or spit up rag. We have also started putting a cloth diaper in the bottom of Marin's car seat in case he has a diaper leak. It is much easier than washing his entire car seat covering.

4) Nasal Aspirator-I hate the phrase, "Snotty Nosed Brat". ha.ha. If I see any baby boogers, the thing immediately comes out of the bag.

5) 2 Bibs for feedings out.

6) Ready Made Formula, Pre-Sterilized Nipple and Nipple Ring for each bottle. We use Enfamil Lipil Ready To Feed Formula. If you are formula feeding your baby, be sure to take one more bottle than you think you'll need in case you are out later than planned.

7) 3 Extra Outfits or more-I can't stress this one enough. Take way more outfits than you think you will need. On an 8 hour round trip to a jet rally, Marin used 3 outfits and was on his last outfit when we were driving home. It doesn't have to be anything fancy or elaborate. Just toss in 3 or 4 onesies if it is summer time. Nothing heavy to take up room in the bag, but it does the job. If it is winter, you can toss in a few footed one piece outfits or pajamas. Throw in a couple pairs of socks too. Go through your extra outfit stash quite often to make sure that when you need the extra outfit, baby hasn't outgrown it already. That is why it is nice to keep it simple and just throw in onesies. If you are going out somewhere "nice" you can always pack nicer outfits last minute, but always keep the onesies in there.

8) Diaper Rash Ointment-With it being hot out right now, a baby is more likely to get diaper rash.

9) Extra Pacifiers-Take at least 2 extras, not including the one your baby is currently using in the car. You don't want to run out of these, if this is something your child uses.

10) Zipper storage bags in Gallon Size-You will find 100's of uses for these, including transporting soiled outfits and dirty diapers. If you have to do a diaper change in the car and can't find a trash can, you'll be glad to not have to smell a dirty diaper.

11) Disposable Changing Table Mats-You've already read my rant on dirty changing tables. :)

12) Blankets-We have 2 thin receiving blankets in our bag. It is always cold in restaurants and you can crank the a.c. up higher in your car if you bring along a blanket.

13) Sunhat-With it being so sunny out these days and Marin not being old enough to wear sunblock, we bring along a little fisherman type hat for him to wear outdoors.

14) Your pediatrician's name and number. If you store these in your phone, great, but what if you lost your phone or your battery went dead? It is nice to have a back up paper copy.

15) Hand sanitizer and extra shirt for all adults in your party. You don't want to be wearing spit up all day if baby gets some on your shirt.

16) Digital Camera-You never know when you'll want to capture a "first" memory.

Note: If you have a newly "snipped" baby boy, be sure to bring along the gauze and Vaseline.

What you can do without for the first 2 months: Toys. Baby won't be interested in them and they will just take up space. Adults are way more entertaining at this stage than rattles and fake keys.

How do we keep from breaking our backs with all this crap in there? We have the attachments to hang the bag on his stroller. It is a little annoying to have to put it on and take it off every time you get in and out of the car, but it is worth it not to have to carry it on your shoulder. Yeah, there is a basket underneath his stroller, but it is nice to have it handy at arms reach. Plus, that leaves the basket open for all your shopping purchases. :) Marin has the Mr B Diaper Bag and it comes with attachments for your stroller if you are interested.
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Public Diaper Changing Tables

Say it with me, DISGUSTING! As a new mom, I am totally grossed out by public changing tables for babies. They are always dirty and look like they haven't been cleaned in years. The worst part is seeing other parents just take their baby out of its stroller and flop it up on said table without a covering underneath. SICK! Do you know how many germs are on that? We're not talking just common cold germs that kids can pass around anyway. What about e.coli? If you can catch it in a baby pool, you can certainly catch it off a feces encrusted table. Yes, horrible visual, I know, but I'm trying to prove a point here.

Wal-Mart, Target, K-Mart, and Babies R Us all sell the disposable changing table pad covers and they are only a few dollars. Please, please, buy these for your kids and use them when you are out. If you're too cheap to buy the covers, change them in the back seat of your car or in the cargo hold of your SUV before you come in a store. That way the only germs they get are family germs. The re-usable changing table mats that you fold up and keep in your diaper bag are great for padding on top of the disposable cover but think about it. Do you want to use the mat and then put it back in your diaper bag? What about all the germs that will now be lurking in your diaper bag? So, by all means use the re-usable ones (I have one too) but put something down underneath it. Let me make myself heard as loud as possible on this one: DO NOT PUT YOUR CHILD'S BLANKET ON THAT NASTY TABLE! Ok, it felt good to get that one out. I cringed as I stood behind a lady changing her child that took the blanket off her baby, put it on the dirty table, changed her child, and then put the blanket back on top of the baby. That is soooo gross. Would you put your blanket off your bed on the toilet seat and then cover up with it? I don't think so. Nasty. Nasty. Nasty.

Go ahead and say I am "overprotective", but when you put your kid down on the bare changing table they lay all the way down on it. Everything is on that table, including the back of their head and hair and then their little hands are touching it too. Babies put their hands in their mouths. Would you touch a toilet seat and then put your hands in your mouth? I don't think so. Even if the table looks clean (which it rarely does), you don't know what has been on there.

If you don't want to use the changing table pads, at lease improvise and get some paper towels and lay them down or some toilet seat paper covers. See, adults use toilet seat paper covers or either "hover" over top of the toilet. We don't want to sit on a nasty toilet seat, so why would we put our baby on one? Your better retail establishments and restaurants provide changing table covers for you. I'm going to start keeping a list of the places that have both clean and non-clean tables and provide the pads for you and post it on the blog. If paper covers don't sound like a feasible option for you, at least carry around some antibacterial wipes (not just regular baby wipes because they don't kill germs). I've also seen small containers of Lysol spray. But, then you don't want to put that spray on your baby either. So, the disposable pads are the easiest. That way after you change your baby, you can just pick up the pad off the table and toss it.

We've come to find out that it usually becomes the mother's job to change a baby out in public. Matthew gets very mad when there aren't changing tables in the men's rooms because he said he'd be more than glad to take half of the diaper changes. He says why should it always be me that has to eat cold food because Marin has a blow out in the middle of dinner? He changes him at home, so why wouldn't he out in public? I guess most men don't change diapers or something? What if Matthew wants to take Marin somewhere by himself? Do men not take their children out without their mothers? My dad said that was a real problem when we were little. He says he took us out on his own sometimes but that there was never a place to change our diapers in men's rooms so he always had to go back to the car. That was over 30 years ago, so you'd think times had changed by now. But, I guess not. It makes me sad that dads who want to step up and help raise their kids aren't give the tools to do so.

I guess that is all on my changing table rant but I do plan on doing another post about "must haves" in your diaper bag. Of course, the changing table pads made the list. :)
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Is that A Family Name?

I just love summer. Complaining about it being hot is my favorite past time, with going to the beach coming in a close second. It is really interesting this summer, having a new baby. We don't go out as much during the day because it is so sweltering and by the time we get somewhere, park the car, drag Marin and all his gear out, and finally get into a store we are soaked with sweat which is gross. Before Marin, we could just jump out of the car and make a dash for the nearest entrance to where we were going before the coolness of the air conditioner had even worn off of our clothes. Now, not so much. But, I'm not complaining really. If you've been keeping up with Marin's blog, his arrival has meant that I get to go to the pool a lot more often.

Speaking of Marin, you may have noticed the title of today's post "Is that A Family Name?" because this is the most common response we get when we tell people Marin's name. I've come to figure out that the question is meant as a derogatory term when another friend and I started comparing new baby stories and she gets that too because her son-to-be has an unusual, yet very cool name in my opinion. We laugh about it together because as she said people really want to ask, "Oh is your grandfather named that so you didn't have a choice?" No, actually we just really liked the name and its meaning. People also say it is too hard to pronounce. Give me a break. It is the root word of several very common words and no one has a problem saying those. How about the sports team, The Seattle Mariners? Just leave off the "er" and you have his name. How about someone who is the captain of a ship, a mariner? Again, leave off the "er" and there you go. There are more examples, but I'm too hateful to list anymore. :) People won't even attempt to pronounce it if they see it written either, which is strange. I can see if it was mispronounced like the way folks in California pronounce Marin County. I've had one lady at the doctor's office say it like that, but that I can understand. Or if it was mispronounced like the branch of the military The Marines or a boat dock (marina). I just don't think it is too hard of a name. Now MaLeah, that is a hard one and I've lived with it being butchered for years but everyone always says my name is "pretty" not, "Is it a Family name?" so I guess that means my name is o.k. :)

It doesn't really bother me that people dislike his name, I just think it is funny. We just couldn't live with a common name where there would be several of the same named boy in his class at school. We figured Marin would be easy enough. I love it and so does Matthew but we've only had 2 people tell us that they LOVE or even like for that matter, his name. Our dog's godfather, Andre, who is just the sweetest and our neighbor Charlotte who spent part of her life sailing around the Caribbean, so she appreciates a good nautical term. We gave him a "normal" name as a middle name (Blake) so if he decides he doesn't like his name he can go by Blake. When we say his middle name, everyone says "Oh that is a nice name" so it must just be Marin that they dislike. ha.ha. Oh, I almost forgot, his pediatrician Dr. Mehrotra said Marin was a "nice" name. We weirdly named folks have to stick together. :)

Well, the pool is calling my name, so I'd better jump off here. I hope everyone is having a great summer so far and spending more time grilling and lounging around than working!
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Let Sleeping Dogs (and Babies) Lie

When Marin was a couple weeks old, Leann asked me if there was anything about being a parent that was different than I expected and if there was anything that I assumed it would be that way and it turned out to be as I expected. Well, Leann's question was way better worded than that, but you get the general idea.

At the time, I told her that sheer lack of sleep and being so dang tired that you couldn't function was something that I both expected and didn't expect at the same time. I still agree with that statement. Marin seems to sleep all the time but at inopportune times. I hate the "sleep when the baby sleeps" mantra because it is virtually impossible. Anyone that has ever been the parent of a newborn knows that they sleep in the weirdest places, during the weirdest times of the day. Take some of Marin's favorites for example.
1) During lunch or dinner out at a restaurant. It is kind of hard to catch a nap between your appetizer and main course.
2) In the car. Sleeping while driving is probably frowned upon by law enforcement.
3) While going for a walk in his stroller. I guess we could nap standing up like a horse, but I don't think we'd be able to see cars coming down the road if we had our eyes shut while pushing him.
4) While we cook a meal at home. Besides, by the time you cook said meal, he's already up again anyway.
5) At any appointment or engagement such as a dentist or doctor's visit. It is tough to curl up on waiting room chairs and you have no idea what kind of germs are on them so this one won't work either.

He is doing some better on his sleep habits. He does sleep at night some, usually in 2.5 or 3 hour blocks. During Matthew's night shifts, he has slept a few 4 hour blocks, but I am never that lucky. According to everyone we've talked to and quite a few "experts" he should sleep through the night by 8 weeks. Sleeping through the night isn't as exciting as it sounds though because doctor's consider sleeping through the night to be sleeping at least 5 hours at once. I'd settle for that though, in a heartbeat! Marin likes to eat too much to sleep that long. He wants to eat at a max 4 hours from the last time he ate. His pediatrician said we can let him sleep through a night feeding if he will do it, but apparently Marin didn't get the memo. He is the best little alarm clock. I haven't had to set one since he's been born!

Having him in our room has helped tremendously. It was something I said I'd never do, but I'm eating my words. The baby monitor in his room doesn't pick up his crying until he is in full meltdown mode. If he sleeps where we sleep, we can hear him before he gets totally upset and fix the problem before it turns into something that will fully wake him up. It is much easier to cram his pacifier back in his mouth from 3 feet away than it is to have to walk across the house to his nursery to do it. I am looking forward to him moving to his own room though because I have a hard time sleeping with him in our room. He makes lots of noises throughout the night, in his sleep, that keep me awake. He snores, grunts, whines, you name it and it is all when he is sound asleep. Matthew says it doesn't bother him but I'm still a zombie in the mornings after listening to his all night chorus. At present, we are taking time about getting up with him at night. One night Matthew does it, the next night I do. When it is my night off, I can wear earplugs and that does help. Plus if he gets really wound up, Matthew brings him out into the living room. It is pretty funny when it is my night to watch him, he can make all the noise he wants and it doesn't bother Matthew so half the time I just lie in bed and chuckle at all Marin's random (and very loud) sounds. When you are a new parent you soon discover that just lying in bed even if you aren't getting any sleep is better than no rest at all!

I guess that is all I have to complain about today. :) I love everything about having a baby except the lack of sleep. That I could do without. Well, that and the absolute blow out diapers that he usually has in the middle of a shopping trip. We've had to come home from a store at least twice to wash his car seat. Oh yes, I said the car seat. He has had a couple diapers that were so bad that his clothes were a mess, he was a mess, and his car seat was toast. Good thing the car seat covers are machine washable! The bad thing is, the car seat covers can't be dried in the dryer and once they are washed it takes all night to air dry them. We've started putting a cloth diaper or other cloth under his butt in both his car seat and Zen chair. Of course, he hasn't had a single blow out in either chair since we've done this. :)

I'll close on a nice, positive note and tell you my favorite things about being Marin's mom.

1) Snuggling with him and sniffing him (yes, I said sniffing. ha.ha.). He always smells good.
2) Seeing him smile.
3) Playing with him. He is so amused by my reading books to him, making funny faces and sounds, and shaking his rattles at him. He is the easiest audience.
3) Hearing everyone say how cute/handsome/adorable my baby is when we take him out. :)
4) Watching he and Matthew together. They are a riot. I always tell them, "That makes me sick!" because they are always together snuggling or playing. Marin really likes his dad and I think the feeling is mutual. :)
5) Taking his picture. He's an easy baby to photograph, very cooperative. I'm sure that will change when he becomes mobile.

Well, he's up from his nap so I'd better go. I'm sure he has a fun surprise in store for me, like a wet soggy diaper. Nice.
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New Computer

If you'd like to see my new computer, go take a look at this! This is the first blog post that I've typed on it! I know you are all jealous that I have such a neat, new laptop! The one in the photo online is black, but mine is a sparkly, dark blue! Thanks Matthew for doing the research to find such a cool computer and then setting it up for me. I Love you!
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I'm Still Here!

Hello! I hope you didn't think I had forgotten that I have a blog! I don't get to post as often as I'd like, since we're always so busy with Marin. But you can always check out the goings-on over at his site.

I am super pumped because Matthew bought me a cool new toy. My very own laptop! I've never had a laptop of my own, so I'm really psyched about it. He's been wanting to buy me one forever and one day last week he was doing research on them online and called me in to look at one. I agreed that it was pretty snazzy, but didn't think he was actually going to buy me one. Imagine my surprise when he comes into the living room a few minutes later to say that he had bought it. I haven't gotten to test drive it yet, as he is working on getting it up and running since it just arrived today. I'll show it off on the blog soon.

You all know pretty much everything else that has been going on here, since Matthew does a good job keeping up with Marin's blog. It has all his recent pictures (which I know is what you want to see anyway) so go check it out. Keep checking back here if you want to see my new computer and I'll try to do better about posting.
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A Possible Breakthrough

I'm sure you've all already been to check out Matthew's post on Marin's blog about the Snuggle Nest. I am thinking this thing may be the breakthrough we've been waiting for. Marin fell asleep last night at 7 p.m. and slept until nearly 3 a.m.! Granted Matthew and I weren't ready to go to bed at dinnertime, but if little dude just shifts his schedule just a bit more towards the nighttime direction, we are going to be golden. I will give Marin huge credit and say that this is the most he's slept in a single stretch day or night since he's been on this earth. Matthew and I actually went to bed in the same bed from 11 p.m. until 3 a.m. It's a miracle! Marin got Matthew up several more times during the night after 3 a.m. but he kept going back to sleep afterwards and wasn't up to stay up till 9 a.m. I can't believe it. Maybe all he needed was for me to go on a rant about his lack of sleep on the blog in order to get with the program. Of course just because Marin is asleep doesn't mean the person who is responsible for watching him is asleep the whole time, but hey, its a start. We're keeping our fingers crossed that it wasn't a one time occurrence and that Marin decides to start sleeping at night more often. In case you are wondering, his Snuggle Nest is in his Chicco Play Yard in a corner in our room. We're hoping to slowly transition him into his crib in his Snuggle Nest. But, as I told Matthew last night, if we get to sleep in our own bed just the two of us, when it is actually dark outside, I don't care if Marin sleeps in a corner of our bedroom until he goes away to college. Anything beats sleeping on the couch, on the floor, or listening to him scream for 6 straight hours at night for a solid month. I was worried that Matthew and I wouldn't have any peace and quiet if we brought him into our room but it is quite the opposite. We haven't spent 4 hours together (except when mom and/or dad have been gracious enough to babysit) since Marin was born! We'll keep you posted on the progress of Marin's sleep and ours!
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So Much For The Weekend

Well, that's just grand. It is 5:20 a.m. and I've been up for a little over an hour now. I was supposed to get to sleep tonight (it is the weekend after all) but Matthew came into our room at 4 to say that he had had quite enough of Marin's screaming. I had went to bed at midnight, after Matthew had agreed to take the night shift since I had had it all week long and was giddy with excitement because Matthew told me I could sleep till 10 a.m. since I had had Marin for the past 5 nights. SCORE! Well, my excitement was short lived when I was roused out of a perfectly good sleep at 4 a.m. I would have went to bed much earlier had I known I was having to get up so early, but I don't guess either of us could have predicted tonight's/today's events. Well, I could have predicted it. Its typical Marin behavior through the week too. I think it is a safe bet to say he has colic, though it hasn't been diagnosed by his doctor. But, colic is usually described as 3 hours of crying, at least 3 days a week lasting for at least 3 weeks. Check, check, and check.

I can't really say that I blame Matthew for waking me up. After all, he was pulling a double shift after being up in order to be at work at 8 a.m. , working all day, then when he usually gets to go to bed at night like a normal person, he was trying to stay up all night and let me sleep since I pull the night shift all week long. I told him just to go on to bed after we both sat on the couch with Marin screaming for another half hour. There was no sense on us both staying up. And, after my having 4 hours of sleep and Matthew having none, I was the better functioning of the zombies.

I am so glad we are going to the doctor on Monday. He's going to have to give us some advice on what to do with Marin. We are both so sick and tired of staying up all night. I know as new parents that you don't get much sleep. I fully expected to be up half a dozen times a night, changing diapers and feeding and that would be just fine with the both of us and not a big deal. But, I didn't expect and frankly don't plan to continue to sit up each and every night from midnight till 6 a.m. with a screaming baby that has had all his needs met. I mean 6 straight hours of crying people. He's got a clean diaper, he doesn't need to eat for 3 more hours, he isn't sick, he isn't cold or hot. He's just screaming for the sake of screaming. Holding him isn't even cutting it tonight. He just wiggles and screams in your arms. So right now, I am typing this wearing ear plugs while Marin screams his head off in his baby seat beside me. I know you aren't just supposed to let a baby "cry it out". Everything that I have read says you can let them cry for 15 minutes, then they need to be picked up again and see if you can calm them down. Then you can let them cry another 15 minutes, then try to calm them down again and so on. Well, Marin doesn't stop crying at all. It is just a continuous cycle. It makes me sad to hear him cry but it is unsafe to sit and hold him when you are so sleepy that you are involuntarily closing your eyes and feel like you're about to fall out of the chair you're sitting in. What if one of us drops him by falling asleep while on duty? You can make yourself stay awake only so long. Eventually your body just gives out to exhaustion. Everyone breaks eventually and unfortunately both of us are at our breaking point.

We have so much we have to do this weekend. I know as new parents you aren't supposed to "try to do too much". Because of Marin's erratic sleep schedule and quarantine orders from the doctor because of the swine flu we have done NOTHING for the past month that really needs to be done. I mean, eventually you have to start re-living life don't you? You have to pay bills, go to the grocery store, go to Babies R Us to buy baby junk, get your hair cut, and mow your yard. We aren't talking about "fun" things here. Things that have to be done but no one has the time to do them because we sleep in shifts. Matthew has to work during the day during the week, so he has no time to do all this stuff. I could do a lot of it, but I am asleep with Marin during the week because he stays up all darn night. I mean, I have to sleep sometime. By the time I get out of bed, it is nearly 5 p.m. So, we try to cram it all in on Saturdays and late evenings. So far, we have so much lined up that HAS to get done, I doubt we'll get to it all.

Two of the major things on our list are taking the dog for a bath and washing her dog beds and taking the trash to the dump. Lexi hasn't been bathed in over a month and her beds haven't been washed either. She stinks so freaking bad that you can smell her from across the room. Same goes for her beds. Our entire house stinks like dog. I usually take Lexi to get her bathed during the week, but since I have to sleep during the day during week since I stay up all night long during the week, the groomers is closed when I get up. Plus, Marin can't go out in public yet either, so its not like I could go during the week even if I was awake, because who would watch Marin while Matthew is working since he isn't allowed in the store? It is a ridiculous no-win situation. So, Matthew is going to take her today. I was going to be my job to take her but since he is the one now getting sleep, he's going to take her. It just can't be put off anymore. We have just focused on the needs of the baby and the baby only for over a month now and like I said, eventually you have to start living life again. Yes, it may be a new version of your old life, but things like taking the dog to be bathed and getting rid of trash still have to happen even when you do have a baby. I hoping it will be better once he's allowed out in public. We'll still be tired, but at least we'll have the option of both going out at the same time to run errands.

Now the trash. We have a trash service but we forgot to put out the trash to be picked up. This is something we've never done before. Matthew forgot to put it out before he went to bed at night and I forgot to make sure it was out before I went to bed with Marin in the morning. We both just plain forgot about it. Since the trash is full, it is going to have to be carted to the dump. Since we don't have a pick up truck, we're going to rent a U-Haul trailer just to take the trash to the dump. Matthew wanted to just put it in the back of the old SUV, but I said NO WAY. There are dirty diapers in there and at least one horribly bloated container of sour cream from tacos earlier in the week. Since all that mess has been stewing in the garage in the trash can during high 80 degree weather, I'm sure it is very "ripe". Gross, I know. So, Matthew is trying to get some sleep so he can do both of these things today. He also has a list a mile long of other things he has to do like going to Babies R Us to pick up formula. Again, this is something that I could do during the week, but not when I have to stay home with Marin because he isn't allowed out.

Sorry to all my readers about the negativity floating around here these past couple days. I just thought I'd throw it all out there and let you know that it isn't always roses around here. Anyone who has ever had a new baby knows that it isn't always fun, but complaining on the blog makes me feel better. :)

Update: By the time I finished typing this is 5:53 a.m and Marin has stopped screaming. It usually is like a light switch at 6 a.m. and 7 minutes till 6 seems to be tonight's stop time for him. So, for those of you keeping score, that is non-stop screaming from midnight till 6. Nice. Now hopefully he will sleep a while. He usually does sleep all day. Having his days and nights mixed up isn't helping any either, on top of the non-stop crying but at least now I can try to catch a few winks on the couch. Good night/Good morning everybody.
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Barely Functioning Zombie

The title of this post are words found in the What to Expect: The First Year book under baby having days and nights mixed up to describe the new parents. This is me in a nut shell for the past couple weeks. Since Matthew is back at work, I'm up with Marin all through the week and it is killing me to put it mildly. The little dude hasn't slept between the hours of midnight and 6 a.m. since we came home from the hospital and he is now 1 month old. Don't get me wrong, I do get a break on the weekends when Matthew takes over but this still blows. I've never looked forward to the weekend so much in my life. Not even when the weekend consisted of going clubbing or to fraternity parties in college. Oh those were the days. :)

I have to go to the dentist tomorrow. Actually, make that today. It is 2:40 a.m. and my appointment is at 10 a.m. I'll probably be there all day. Some idiot (me) made my cleaning and cavity filling appointment all in the same day. But that was months ago. I had no idea that Marin would be 2 weeks late in arriving and so when I scheduled this appointment I assumed he'd be 6 weeks old by then and we'd be on some sort of a decent sleep schedule. I don't know how I'm going to make it at the appointment. Matthew has to drive me anyway because I'm getting "the gas" and I am loopy for hours afterward. Plus, I'm not going to be the happiest camper after getting teeth filled anyway. Maybe they will give me some good pain meds?! I doubt I'll be that lucky. What's Marin up to right this instant? Fussing in his chair behind me while I type. He's been changed, just ate an hour ago, and is all snug in his jammies so he's not cold either. There is no real "problem" per say. He even has his pacifier crammed in his mouth, but he's still fussing around it. I would get off here and go mess with him instead of "ignoring" him but I've been holding him for the past 3 hours and he's just squirrmed and kicked and slung his little arms and has worn me out.

While I was pregnant, everyone LOVED pouring on the advice. Now that I ask people what they did when their kids had their days and nights mixed up, I can hear the crickets chirping because there is nothing but silence. No one has any ideas. Either their children were angels and slept through the night or at least for more than 10 minutes at a stretch or they give me a knowing look of pity and say there was nothing they could do to "fix" their children either that one day they just "fixed" themselves. A neighbor told me that her daughter had her days and nights mixed up and finally it was like flipping a switch at 6 weeks old and she just magically got with the program. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Marin does that. I knew that being a new parent I wouldn't get much sleep. I figured I'd be up half a dozen times a night or so tending to his needs. I had NO IDEA that one parent or the other would be up ALL NIGHT long for a solid month. This is just getting ridiculous. Marin goes to the doctor again on June 1st and I'm hoping he is either cured of his insomnia by then or that his doctor has some sort of advice on how to fix it. I think people think we are joking when I say he stays up "all night". I don't mean that we get up a dozen times a night to check on him or feed or change him. I mean that who ever is on duty sits up wide awake from midnight till sometimes 8 or 9 a.m. and does nothing but try to keep Marin quiet so the other person can sleep.

We have tried keeping him up during the day, but that doesn't work. He's exhausted and so am I so we have to sleep some time. I've heard that taking them out in the sun will help them reset their internal clocks to know the difference between night and day. We spend time outside every day and so far it hasn't helped. Since I have to sleep during the day in order to be able to stay up all night, it isn't like I can "do" much at all during the day to try to switch his sleep schedule. But, I'm open to suggestions. So, if anyone knows of any other tricks we can try, by all means pass them on!

It is really annoying having to sleep during the day because you didn't get any sleep the night before. There are days that Marin and I don't wake up till nearly 5 p.m. When you don't go to sleep till 8 a.m. though, I guess that is considered "normal". I have a new respect for night shift workers. I don't know how they do it. I remember that my dad used to work nights and he always said that he felt like he lived a totally different life than people who were up during the day. He said he always felt like he was missing out on "real life" and everything that goes on during the day. I know exactly what he means now. It is like I'm running wide open and still barely able to keep it together. Matthew and I haven't slept in the same bed since we came home from the hospital and that is probably one of the things that bothers me the most. He sleeps at night and I sleep days so Marin and I are just coming to bed when he's getting out of bed. Everyone keeps saying this isn't a permanent condition. I just hope they are right.
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